Healing Trauma
When was the last time you felt at ease?
When things go well for other people, they seem happy and relaxed. When things go well for you, you wonder what’s going to go wrong next.
It’s exhausting… always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
People seem fickle. Niceness doesn’t mean much to you. You know the indifference or the harm that can lie behind niceness.
It’s exhausting… always wondering whom you can trust and whom you can’t.
Do you feel flawed – like nothing you ever do gives you the sense that you are as good as others? Maybe you try… maybe you’re even a skilled people-pleaser. But it never gets you the love or approval you want, and it leaves you feeling drained and empty.
Do you feel like you’re looking at life from a distance – like it’s meant for someone else and not for you? It may feel like you live in a little bubble, never able to make full contact with life.
Maybe you’ve even tried therapy before.
Maybe you’re wondering if your case is hopeless.
I know you’re looking for a shift…
Well, regardless of what may or may not have happened before in therapy, I can tell you this: You’re not hopeless. You’re no different from millions of others who have suffered from trauma.
“Wait. Trauma? What?? No, not me,” you say. “I haven’t been raped or beaten. Or maybe I have, but it wasn’t a big deal. It’s not like I’ve been to war or suffered through some natural disaster.”
Trauma isn’t all about violence or disasters.
It comes in different shapes and sizes and by many names (e.g., “complex trauma,” “relational trauma,” “trauma with a little T,” “chronic PTSD”)…
But it’s all trauma, and it happens whenever there’s a disruption in your ability to feel safe and loved.
Some of the trauma was hidden. You may have looked like the perfect family on the outside, so others never heard the yelling or saw the harsh discipline.
Or maybe you hid it from others yourself. Maybe you believed that you somehow deserved to be treated badly, and you didn’t want others to find that out.
Some of it’s even “invisible.” Trauma can come from your needs never being met.
These are the traumas others can’t see. They are traumas that people often don’t understand because they experienced it a few times in their life, and it wasn’t so bad. But when that IS your life day in and day out, it IS traumatic.
It’s often harder to heal from these traumas because there’s no support team – no Red Cross… no Wounded Soldier Project – that comes in to assess their effects and validate your pain.
But the pain is real. And it may leave you feeling untrusting, unimportant, angry, or lost.
We all have many parts inside ourselves that attempt to deal with trauma.
There may be wounded parts, parts that keep you going through everyday life, parts that try to numb you, or perfectionist parts. They mean well and want to help, but they often don’t really know how. They keep trying and trying, doing everything they can to keep you going.
What if there were healing for all parts of you?
I can help you understand all the parts inside you – to know their beliefs about how they help you and their methods for doing it.
And, perhaps more important, I can help you feel compassion for every part.
All of your parts need to be appreciated for what they try to do for you.
All of your parts need to tell their stories.
All of your parts need to let go of the heavy burdens they carry – like the stories of why they were to blame or why you’ll never be good enough.
I know how to help you feel calm, safe, and brave enough to discover these parts. When the parts know they will not be judged and there is a genuine curiosity about them and compassion for them, they emerge to tell their stories.
Healing happens when each part is honored, seen, unburdened, and allowed to choose a new role.
“Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.”
― Bessel A. van der Kolk
You can learn again to feel safe and loved again.
Yeah, it sounds a bit trite. Maybe you’ve heard therapists say that before.
But truly, this work of healing trauma is so moving and inspiring… it makes ME feel more hopeful and alive. Healing trauma heals you. It heals your family. It heals your community. And yeah, maybe it even heals your therapist a bit, too.
It would be a privilege to be a part of your journey.
If you are ready to find healing, I’m ready, too. Call for a free 20-minute consultation to see how I can help: (562) 548-8999.